The Job I’ve Been Trusted With: Part 3 "The Bond"

There’s a saying in coaching circles: “They won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” And if you ask me, that quote should be stitched into every coach’s clipboard.

Part 3 of this journey isn’t about wins and losses. It’s about something deeper—the connection between coach and athlete, and why that bond might be the most important part of this job I’ve been trusted with.

I've always believed respect and fair treatment are the foundation of any successful relationship—whether in life or on the court. That belief shows up every time I walk into a gym. I don’t coach with fear, and I don’t subscribe to the old-school method of yelling and breaking a kid down to build them up. I’m not saying that style never works—some coaches have found success that way. But it’s never been my lane.

Instead, I want my athletes to understand the moment—why we do what we do, and how to respond when adversity shows up. Whether we’re down ten points with two minutes left or life throws something harder their way, I want to motivate, not intimidate. I want to teach them how to think through the pressure, not panic in it.

You see, coaching isn’t just about drawing up the right plays or installing the right defense. It’s about showing up with consistency, patience, and purpose. And it’s about building trust, one rep at a time.

Over the years, I’ve been fortunate to work with thousands of athletes—many through short-term summer camps. I pour into each of them, knowing I may never see them again. But sometimes, I get lucky. Sometimes, a former player reaches out. And when they do… it hits differently.

Just a few weeks ago, I got a graduation invite from Seattle, Washington. The name on the envelope stopped me in my tracks: Cassie Chesnut. I coached Cassie during her 6th and 7th grade seasons. She was one of those kids you remember—humble, hardworking, always soaking up instruction. She kept showing up to camp, summer after summer. Then the pandemic hit, and I moved back home to Oklahoma.

Inside the envelope was a handwritten note from Cassie. In her words, she thanked me for the belief, the structure, and the training that helped shape her mindset. She said: “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Cassie is now headed to Montana State University Billings—on a full basketball scholarship.

That’s what this is about.

That’s why The Bond matters.

Because somewhere along the way, she didn’t just hear a coach yelling plays. She felt seen. She felt believed in. And she worked her tail off because of it.

As coaches, we may never know the exact impact we’ve had on an athlete—but we owe it to them to build something real. Something rooted in care. Something that stays with them, long after the final buzzer.

To every coach reading this: if you want your team to reach the next level, start with connection. Show your athletes that who they are matters more than what they do for you. Then watch how hard they play for you in return.

Because when you build the bond, you don’t just build better athletes—you build stronger people.

And in the end, that’s the real win.

—
Coach Carlos Humphrey
Madill Lady Wildcats | Beast Blog Series